At 35, musician Matt Carter is a whisker too old to be classified a millennial, the generation whose eldest members reached 18 at the turn of the century. Still, with most fans in their 20s and early 30s, the lead guitarist for the alternative band Emery maintains a sense of how young adults see the church. It isn't too favorable.

"I get a lot of feedback," says Carter, who two years ago started a sometimes irreverent-sounding blog (badchristian.com) that reflects some of this discontent.

"Things like: 'I know my church is well and good, but there's some messed-up stuff in the system. Am I going to stick around and try to make it better from the inside, or should we speak out against the failures of the church? What's the right way to approach that?'"

Such questions are more relevant than ever after the recent implosion of Seattle's Mars Hill Church. The collapse came about two months after the resignation of Mark Driscoll, Carter's pastor for 10 years before the guitarist departed in the fall of 2013 amid brewing controversy.

Carter sees far-reaching implications from the collapse, including raising the question of whether megachurches will be viable in the future.                                                                    

Regardless of size, he says the fallout should cause pastors everywhere to recognize that those who represent the future of the church largely frown on the image of the lead pastor/CEO.

No longer interested in such figures, the musician doesn't claim membership in any church, although he often attends an independent congregation of about 100 people.

"What I really want from a pastor is to not feel like they have to conform to a traditional pastoral role," Carter says of his expectations. "I want some people to help me understand the Bible and engage deeper. There's a million ways to do that. I don't think there's a prototype or best way."

Two millennials who once called Mars Hill home see other lessons emerging. They agree that while they want strong leaders, they expect pastors who are transparent, good listeners and realistic about their shortcomings.

Shannon Stephens, a one-time home group leader who spent five years in Seattle before heading back east to be closer to family, thinks too many pastors embrace the image of omniscience.

Although saying those who matured during the seeker-sensitive era have dropped a sales-pitch approach, Stephens feels too many retain the attitude that unless they appear infallible, their answers lack legitimacy.

"But that's backward logic," says Stephens, who works at a bank. "If you appear to never mess up, it doesn't give you more legitimacy. It gives you less.

"The ideal would be a pastor who can't only accept himself in the 'sage' category. In his counseling or even from the pulpit, if he's going to be instructive, we want to know he's tried and triumphed over adversity in his life."

Seattle native Sarah Croasdill says it is encouraging to hear how God changes flawed pastors during their journey. That is one reason she finds her current pastor so appealing; she and her husband found their new home after a search that took them to four churches.

"Our new pastor not only has a passion for the gospel to reach the ends of the earth, but he has humility," Croasdill says. "He shares his current trials—big and small—from the pulpit and asks us to pray for him."

Her experience left another deep impression. Were she and her husband to find themselves in another place that wanted to expand, they would favor starting another church instead of another location.

"This is just healthier for leadership and congregants," Croasdill says.

A Closer Walk

Much has been written lately about those under 33—millennials—seeking a spiritual environment that offers more meaningful relationships, discipleship and a deeper sense of intimacy with God. Yet such yearnings can also create conflict with older members who embrace the status quo and are reluctant to yield the reins.

Therein lies the rub for all pastors, who must navigate between differing expectations and the potential conflict that can arise from leaning too far in one direction or the other.

Leadership expert Brad Lomenick says one of the toughest challenges older leaders face is understanding how younger ones seek a family environment where they can quickly assume leadership. This expectation can easily rankle elders who waited for years to step into their positions.

"Part of our responsibility is to give them that chance," says Lomenick, who worked with John C. Maxwell and then as president of Catalyst before leaving to devote more time to writing and speaking. "They'll make mistakes, but we should give them authority and influence."                                          

As they do, pastors must understand that millennials no longer see a career spelling a three- to four-decade tenure in one location. Instead of long-lasting assignments, they foresee seasons that will take them through 10 or more projects, Lomenick says.

He says this reality partially explains the advent of church-planting movements the past 15 years, with many new churches started by young adults unwilling to wait for their chance to lead.

Not only do pastors need to create an environment where young leaders can do something, he says they must accept the likelihood that after they grasp their assignment, these protégés may leave for another opportunity.

"I once heard Andy Stanley say, 'This won't be your only job; I just want it to be your best job,' " Lomenick says. "This is changing the state of loyalty and what teamwork looks like."

As pastors grapple with a new generation of leaders, they also have to develop their understanding of young faces in the audience.

While not everyone "gets it," the Barna Group's David Kinnaman sees an increasing awareness among pastors of changing lifestyles; particularly the challenges of reaching young adults who are later leaving home, marrying and having children.

The author of two books about millennials, the president of the research firm says the shifting realities of 20-somethings mirror the past century's rise of the "teenager," a relatively modern concept that redefined what it meant to be a maturing person.

Just as the Christian community altered its ministries to young people in that phase of life, the same innovative mindset will be needed to reach today's generation, the author says.

Yet Kinnaman sees obstacles ahead, such as pastors struggling to close the gap between work and faith, which the Barna Group labels "vocational discipleship."

"Most churches still have very little or no effective efforts to help millennials understand the deep connections between calling and their faith," Kinnaman says.

"This is an area that could dramatically benefit the spiritual development of today's teenagers and young adults—and it could also significantly impact their sense of purpose in work and their generosity."

Still Scriptural

One misgiving pastors (particularly evangelicals) may have of younger adults is how their more tolerant, permissive attitudes can veer in unhealthy directions, such as openness towards cohabitation and same-sex marriage. Yet that doesn't mean young adults automatically reject the Bible.

Last fall the Barna Group released a survey that found only 65 percent of millennials accept the Bible as the actual or inspired Word of God. Yet, among practicing Christian millennials it is an overwhelming 96 percent.

And, despite their generation's reputation for relativism, 71 percent of active believers affirm the concept of absolute moral truth.

Roxanne Stone, Barna's vice president of publishing, acknowledges there are reasons for the disparaging stereotypes about young Christians becoming less orthodox in their beliefs. Yet she says many grew up in evangelical traditions that placed a priority on Scripture over other faith practices.

"This evangelical emphasis on Scripture has cemented a respect for and continued belief in Scripture as holy among Christian millennials—even while they question many other aspects of their faith," Stone says.

Rob Durst's experience echoes this trend. An Ohio native who serves as the media director at a Church of Christ in the South, he has seen the power of transparency working at a church camp for high school students.

Two years ago the camp started a testimony time, with staff members and campers sharing a story about a difficult time in their life.

This helped touch others' hearts by letting others know they weren't the only people struggling with a particular issue. Many campers have later approached speakers to create a dialogue and offer advice or encouragement.

Such experience reflects the example set by his senior pastor. The 30-year-old bivocational staff member calls his pastor the most transparent person he knows, confessing past struggles and alcohol issues. "The Benefits of Getting Caught" is the highest downloaded sermon in church history.

Durst wouldn't feel comfortable confiding in someone who appears flawless. He wouldn't expect that person to understand his problems nor be able to offer practical solutions.

"I do not want to feel like I'm being judged by someone," Durst comments. "No one is perfect; therefore, the pastor who appears perfect is not. I hesitate to trust anyone that appears that flawless."

Generational Differences

As they seek to reach younger adults, Kinnaman advises pastors to remember that all too often generational differences are overblown, which he calls a sin issue. In other words, divisions over worship, preaching styles or leadership structures gloss over deeper differences of gender, race or class.

"Those are differences that only the gospel in us can sanctify," Kinnaman says. "I always remind pastors that someone's preferences have to be met. I view it as the job of an effective leader to communicate and clarify what it means to accommodate others in a church."

Realize too that older adults have some of the same disappointments and longings for more authentic, biblically oriented leaders espoused by their younger counterparts.

DeWayne Guyton, a 44-year-old production director for a small-town radio station in Alabama, says too many church platforms have turned into stages and performance venues, with leaders' main concerns being hitting attendance quotas.

"More and more pastors are offering an ear-tickling service to bring in a 'tithing crowd,'" says Guyton, who leads the media ministry at an interdenominational church. "It seems it's more about filling seats instead of saving souls. Sadly enough, sugar-coating (the Word) will do that."

Missourian Shelley Swenson feels the same way. The longtime Assembly of God member feels the casual approach that has developed in the pulpit too often reflects a casual approach towards sin and accountability.

"There is now more of a push toward 'life-affirming' sermons with fortune-cookie snippets thrown in for good measure," says the volunteer lunchroom worker at a Christian school.

"This causes the attitudes of people to change and embrace the idea that because 'God is love,' we, as Christians, are entitled to His blessings with no sacrifice or commitment on our part. In the past five years, I have looked around at different churches but have found it increasingly difficult to find one that preaches Scripture and not some sugar-coated fluff week after week."

The managing editor of Leadership Journal says such appraisals show two truths about reaching people of all ages.

Drew Dyck, whose 2010 book, Generation X-Christian, addressed the reasons behind the exodus of young people from church, says the first is that dumbing down scriptural truth won't work.

"That's a failure in history with theological liberalism in mainline churches," Dyck said. "Instead of growing over the years, they've seen a 50 percent reduction."

The other is his view that pastors need to chronicle the absence of young adults in their midst, detail reasons for stepping out of their comfort zone, and convince members that making changes and reaching out to the community are good ideas.

"Tell them they're missionaries now," says the former youth pastor. "Explain they have to make some uncomfortable decisions about their preferences and the way they do church to engage the next generation. If you explain that, those changes will be met with greater receptivity."

Only time will tell whether church leaders are up to the task.  

Ken Walker is a freelance writer, co-author and book editor from Huntington, West Virginia. He wrote about the digital church for Ministry Today's Jan.-Feb. issue.

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